Once upon a time there was this guy who sent me an email after viewing my profile. All it said was “Hi there”. He was cute so I emailed back in hopes his reply would involve more than 2 words. That was June 20th.
Gradually the emails got longer and longer. The conversation got better and better. No flirting. No sexual talk. No normal man stuff. It’s different. I’m intrigued. I’m enjoying it. A lot. So much that I don’t even care if we ever meet because he’s just neat to talk with. THIS is the type of thing that makes me grateful for the open marriage. That wouldn’t be something common for a regularly married couple to let the wife spend time emailing a guy for long periods of time. It’s a chance to meet someone new that I’d never would have met.
His conversations are so intelligent and not full of beer and liquor references. I actually felt comfortable enough to bring up ‘the change’ and my crazy pills. He didn’t seem to flinch. And we always end our emails with random question and I’m always giddy to read his answers.
It’s weird! I’ve been enjoying this conversation so much that I think this is the nail in the coffin on the just finding a man to date a few times, have sex and be done. I’d like to focus on building relationships with people the same as I would a friend, but then I’d put out at the end of the night. ‘The Change’ seems to have altered what I’m looking for. I’ve always thought I was in the middle teetering between the easy to find men who you can have dinner with and then sex and then meet up whenever schedules work. I’m looking for an emotional relationship as well that I can actually have a conversation for hours. It’d be neat to have one of those moments that you’re hanging out with someone and you look up at the clock and realize the whole afternoon has gone by.
I have been kind of confused what I want to do with this open marriage. Does it still need to meet my sexual needs? Yes. Does it still need to be entertainment for me when the husband doesn’t want to go anywhere? No. That gets pretty expensive and with me not working now I’m not willing to pay just for a quick dinner before we have sex and then drive home. I live far enough from most people that I spend a fortune on gas if I travel around too much. Do I want to just meet new friends? Yes. If it turns in to something more that’s great. This is going to work for me for now. I’m not searching anymore. I’m just going to wait and see what comes about. I don’t need it for entertainment anymore. I need some intimacy and that is harder to find. I need some hand holding in a movie theater. I need late night conversations. I need someone to try new parks with me.
I always am so impatient. I think I’m going to miss some grand opportunity if things move along to slow. From here on out I’m just a relaxed woman in an open marriage waiting for a friend to come around. I think that sums it up nicely 🙂
While I have your attention I’ve been getting a lot of requests for pictures. I can’t tell if you’re meaning dirty pictures or if you’re just curious what I look like since I never show myself. I don’t do dirty pictures so good luck with that request.