Well he called

And he had a very valid excuse, and apparently I need to work on my ability to not worry. It won’t happen, but eh it’s worth a thought for a second. I still think with his excuse he could have found a way to get in touch, but whatever. It is what it is, and like I’d have really done anything different. Although I did get a guarantee from him and a plan of action if he ever does die or something that I will be notified. I’m comfortable with that.

However, now that he’s back it isn’t as lovely as I thought. And seeing how much I worried about him, and realizing how much control he has over this relationship. I’m not so sure I’m all giddy he’s back. Who knows. We decided to give it two weeks and see what’s up. I was very happy with that. For now we’re just back to the exact way it was. The daily phone calls.

I did however share that I had sex while he was gone. I won’t lie I made sure to bring it up so he’d ask. I knew he would. He’ll never admit it, but he gets jealous. And like any cautious person should be he gets nervous about the STI’s. Which is completely understandable. In fact Mr. Jackass is coming to spend the night at the end of the month and I’ve requested an STI screening since it appears we’re going to be sleeping together regularly. I just got my results in and I’m clean as a whistle.

Man whore is really stuck on this “I just know you’d give other men a better chance if I wasn’t around”. Huh? He knows I want more than what he can give me and we have this stupid argument all the time, that I’m always looking but shit it’s not like I can go to Walgreens and find the man isle and pick one. WTF? If he was getting in the way I’d tell him. I am to the point that I don’t give two shits if he’s bothered by me sleeping with other people. If he doesn’t like it he can find the door. See I’m bitter. This isn’t as fun anymore. Maybe we’ve run our course and perhaps the love I felt was really just addictive lust. I’m sure glad I’m headed back to the therapist soon. Yeesh.

One thought on “Well he called

  1. How interesting this post was. My thoughts run the same with yours as to feelings. Except you have a higher tolerance for his BS because of this deep attraction.
    But I also think we have the upper hand when it comes to the relationship. We have our primary relationship to fall back on as a security. Its more them needing to be more accepting and jumping thru our hoops to get what they want.
    *sigh* I just wish we can find a happy medium of fantastic fun sex without the emotional attachment that clings to it.

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