Mr. Jackass has returned. And I’m glad. He’s not the ideal candidate, but for now he’s going to suffice for some sex.
Man whore and I are on a break. He’s got some things going on that he needed to deal with and not have me in the picture so I volunteered to remove myself. He didn’t sound 100% thrilled with it, but it’s just three weeks. After the last time we had sex a few weeks ago I had told him I needed more sex and we talked about me going to get it and he agreed so long as I’m safe he didn’t care who I slept with, which had changed from before where it was just ok when it someone I could be with long term. So since that was near impossible to find I was ok with just getting sex from him as I had kind of lost my desire to have sex all the time. However, once I got some the desire returned. I wanted it bad. The renegotiation of our “contract” came before I told him we needed a break, so I’m assuming he knows while we’re on said break I’m going to hooch it up a bit so I can get it out of my system as I’ll get tired of the losers and the bad sex pretty quickly. January 4th man whore and I promised to talk, see how things are going in his life, and see if they’re a little easier to handle without me in the picture, and see how I feel about things as well. At first I thought January 4th seemed forever away, but it’s really not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Perhaps because I know I have January 4th to look forward to? I wonder if I’d feel the same way if I knew it was permanent. It took a lot of work to come up with this plan. In fact I took a whole session with the sex therapist to figure out how to handle it lol
Ironically the day after I told man whore I needed more sex Mr. Jackass and Mr. Shy both came back from the lost lagoon and said they missed me, apologized for being douche bags, and then asked if I’d mind speaking to them again. It was a matter of hours. I find it really ironic. At this point I don’t remember why I walked away from the both of them, but I’m pretty sure it was because their marriages have more rules than mine and I got fed up with them.
Anyhow, Jackass came back and we texted for about five days straight and he asked if he could see me, and I just frankly said “yes I’m horny, let’s have some sex”. I didn’t mind sex with him. sure, it’s a different kind, but it’s not a bad different kind. He’s more intimate, more passionate, loves to cuddle, has a soft touch about him, he’s very timid about anything really different, he’s very cut and dry and hasn’t really done a lot. He’s turned on by my level of experience, but yet nervous to try anything I suggest. He always does what I ask though with an eager voice, but I can tell that he’s nervous.
And low and behold he actually showed up. And we had sex all day. All day. A sex marathon. It was fantastic. And when we were recovering from the sex we cuddled. We even dozed off while he was holding me. It was absolutely fantastic to feel his touch, to make out with him. He’s such an awesome kisser. It’s just wonderful. His touch is soft, his eyes are adorable, he’s not that much taller than me, but he’s smaller than me weight wise. In fact I didn’t realize how enjoyable it is to have someone smaller on top of me until I had sex with him the first time way back when. Since he isn’t bigger he can actually lay on top of me in the missionary position and kiss me while we’re having sex. I’m not used to that and I didn’t realize just how much I like it. We snuggled, we talked, we fucked all day. It was great. I even made him lunch. It was fantastic. Until he spoke. We are so opposite in our lives it’s unreal! He is obsessed with money and work. I am not. He is obsessed with his image and how he looks to other people and I am not. He is obsessed with controlling every small thing down to how much water goes in the juice his child drinks….I am not. He thinks I should keep my work hidden because how on earth can I be a sex educator and have children and live in a community….and EGADS how can I go to pick my children up at school with a bumper sticker that has the word orgasm in it.
We won’t ever be a fabulous match for each other, but the sex is nice, and I’m ok with leaving it at that for a change.