BDSM Camp Day 2

If you missed day 1, you can find it here.

I realize what I lack in seeing here. Actual sex. I didn’t see any last night. I heard some in the wee hours of the night coming from tents and campers, but none in the play area. See that’s where I go wrong. All these people come with their partners and go and have their fun in the dungeon and watch and learn and then retire back to their sleeping area to have the actual sex. This is where I struggle as I’m not sure I’d like to go through that much pain and torture and have no end result of an orgasm, but the more I watch the more I’m figuring out they aren’t actually seeking a sexual kind of pleasure, more of an emotional kind of pleasure that is a method of foreplay for them, or just therapy.

Sleeping in the tent last night sucked ass. Had no clue how cold it would get at night. Thank goodness they gave me a sleeping bas as I had to use it on top of the bedding I brought because I woke up at 2am shivering. That was pleasant. And I don’t know what the deal is with this tent but it makes a fucking lot of noise. All I heard was the wind blowing the sides of it and I’m wondering if it’s not pulled down tight enough, but I’m not fucking with it. I’m just going to push my stuff against the sides more and hope that helps. The air mattress was pure heaven however, luckily that was a plus. and since I have electricity in my tent I was able to have my white noise of the fan so that helped, but then I was awoken to the sounds of people yelling good morning at other campers at 1am. 1fuckingam. It’s 9am now and I’ve finally given up and crawled out of bed to the sounds of someone drumming. I’m not quite sure what the correlation of bdsm play and drumming is but all kidns of people brought drums and cant seem to wait to whip them out at any given moment. It’s kind of like a macho oh yeah well my drum is louder than yours type thing.

I’m teaching my Intimacy class today and I’m pretty anxious for it as it’s one of my favorites. Since camps is so overwhelming for people when they’re here I designed a homework assignment for them to take home and I’m anxious to see what people think since it’s the first time I’m trying that out. I also found a volunteer to make out with and he’s way harrier than I normally am ok with getting intimate with but I’m going to step out of my box a bit and he’s super excited, which is cute.

I’m bored today. I went and socialized with the people who were eating breakfast and then there was a class I wasn’t comfortable with attending since it covered a lot of topics revolving around blood. My class went well, had a nice turn out. I am not sure it’s a good fit for the crew of people after hearing some of the questions they were asking. Most people in the BDSM community are highly good at having strong communication with their partner and so I’m not sure it was a good fit, but the people were pretty quiet and reserved and didn’t volunteer information or ask questions a lot so I’m anxious to see what the feedback is. I’m realizing more and more that the community is very focused on the psychological aspect of their play, so I’m really hoping I didn’t bore them to tears.

Pretty hot day, and my tent is a sauna so I can’t hang out there. I’m pretty lost with nothing to do while there isn’t a lot of activity going on. The heat makes me cranky, this is I have definitely realized before, but after this day I am 1000% positive I am just not a fan of the heat. I volunteered to do some work for the camp tonight, so hopefully that’ll take my mind off the heat.

Called to check in with the husband and he wasn’t very much fun to talk to. He knew I’d be miserable about the heat so I don’t think he was looking forward to me calling to whine lol he was busy with the kids as well. There’s a geo-cache located somewhere in camp that I keep thinking I want to go and find, but first another outdoor shower.

There were a few things I found hard to wrap my head around that I’ve seen today. There was a firing squad of people firing paintball guns at whomever wanted to volunteer. It looks so painful. In fact they would fall over. Someone did it three times, and got hit 63 times. I just can’t understand the pleasure in that kind of pain. The aftermarks looked so painful and uncomfortable. There’s also a man walking around who doesn’t speak and he was wearing a trash bag for a shirt, a unit number sign on his trash bag, a trash bag for underwear, a trash bag on the face with holes for the eyes and the mouth, leopard print headphones on, a bell hanging over the top of his head, his hands handcuffed behind him and I’ve seen him just stand in various spots around camp for a long while. I’ve been asking around and it has to do with being an object. To me, that’s got to really be a large ability to step outside of your mind for that long. Even just to be able to stand there in that kind of outfit and put up with the heat. I’m really jealous of the ability to be able to do that. I wouldn’t, even if I could, but I’m still really jealous of the mental skills that must entail.

I stood watch them teach how to play with fire for quite a while and almost got on the table but I was so hot that I didn’t want the fire to make me any hotter. If they set up again later in the evening I might give it a try because it looks pretty erotic.

I also watched a “take down” scene tonight which was really intriguing. I learned a lot about the appropriate places that you can hit with a lot of strength on the body, which I think I’ll keep in mind for my own play. I usually just stick with face slapping, but the stuff they were doing looked pretty intriguing. After I got done watching that someone from my Intimacy class approached me to let me know how much he enjoyed it. Made my day, as I was so nervous it wouldn’t go over well in the community.

I’ve decided that breath play is something that I want to try. I wasn’t comfortable doing it with anyone there because to me it seems that it requires a lot of trust with the partner you’re using so that you know if you’re going to pass out they’re there to take care of that for you. I’m going to start doing some research on that just for my own personal interest, but I watched a couple doing it this evening and I enjoyed watching it a lot.

I saw someone get tickled for a really long period of time and I’m not quite sure how she didn’t pee herself. That looked rough.

Back at the tent for the night and I didn’t try anything new. I did however let one of the cam photographers photograph my vagina for this project he’s working on. It looked really neat, so I figured what the heck. It’s a vagina. I’m prepared this evening with warmer clothing before I head in to the cold hours of the morning.

After walking around the play area all night and sitting by the first before I got back to my tent I’m realizing a lot of people are intrigued to play with me, but I can’t seem to get anything set up. I’m so new to this lifestyle I don’t understand how any of it works and I don’t want to break any rules especially since I’m here professionally and I feel like I should educate myself more on the lifestyle before I dive in and discuss doing anything with someone and since relationship dynamics are so hard to figure out here. They keep telling me to just ask, but I don’t want to be rude. Again, I think more education on the lifestyle would be so much more helpful for me.

While I’m typing up my notes since I don’t have the BlackBerry I’m not hearing any sounds of sex this evening. It’s mildly disappointing as i was shocked how peaceful it was to fall asleep to last night. However, I can see it by the light of the moon which means it’s time to shut the computer and call it a night.

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