Well Mr. Army’s to good to be true assumption was correct. The sex was bad, very bad.
Get home from a nice evening, sitting and watching football, he holds my hand….I’m horny so I just go in for some making out. His making out consisted of fish kissing, touch the thigh, then the arm, and eventually he worked in to swiping his finger on the side of my boob. I tried changing it up, nope, thigh…arm…boob swipe. Finally after 20 minutes of that same thing and my face getting torn up by his rough face I ask what the rule is about the house bed and after clearing up the rules I ask if we can go upstairs. Here’s where the fun begins.
3 cats laying on the bed….see hair everywhere. I ask for that to be taken care of……then he lays down and I walk to my side of the bed and before I can even get in he’s got the light turned off. Hop in bed with clothes on and he does thigh, arm boob again so I take over and just show him what to do after I take my shirt off……can’t get it quite right……get myself off……let him know when he’s ready there are condoms under the pillow grab them when he needs them……oh ok he’s ready now……I no sooner try to get ready for sex and he’s rammed it in. No guiding of it in, oh no he just rams it in and I stop him and grab the lube and he rams it in again. My poor vagina is very tight and irritated now…..no time to even ask about positioning, nothing….guess that’s how we’re doing it….arms go down over me and he makes no noise……not a peep, not a sound, not a moan, not a gasp, not a snort…….crickets…..no movement but thrust thrust thrust, won’t make out, won’t move his arms, I’m trying everything to get the guy to engage, I squeeze him out so he’s got to pause and re ram it in thinking he’d pause and make out, I try to make out, I try to move to a new position, I try to rub all romantic like, I try to talk dirty, I try to get him to move his arms……..crickets………and then he rolls over and takes the condom off. Guess he’s done!!!! Hops up, gets his clothes on, I sneak off to the bathroom before he turns the light on so he can’t see my face of horror and by time I’m out he’s downstairs waiting for me on the couch, I inspect the condom to see if he did actually finish, yep. 5 minutes later I’m in my car getting “I had a really good time tonight, sweet dreams, goodnight” text. 20 minutes later I was having a beer with a friend.
If I was a good person I’d go back and work with him, but frankly he’s 37 and at this point I think it would take a lot of work and that’s the kind of work I normally get paid for teaching. Ugh. I’m horrible. It was so rigid, and so cold I just have no desire to go back. Even though the rest of him was great. Although it did kind of annoy me last night that he couldn’t make a decision about anything. He asked me over and then had no idea what to do with me, and kept saying sorry he was bad at planning things. Maybe I just need a more assertive man. Maybe I put too much emphasis on sex, maybe I’m just a bitch, maybe I’m just too picky, or maybe I give off a vibe that people can’t relax in bed around me. I don’t know, but May 20th was the last time I had a mind blowing orgasm from a man and that’s just pathetic.