I’m annoyed with the man whore

I knew it was coming soon. It always does. He woos me with the wonderful friendship connection we have, the deep conversations, the laughs, the sexiness that is the man whore, and the wonderful sex. And then he pisses me off and I wonder what the fuck I’m doing.

First he forgets my birthday, yeah everyone makes a mistake and he hasn’t made many since he came back so I let it go. Then the night of my birthday party I find out he was free really late in the night and he decided to go sit at home instead of stop by and say hello and then tries to win it over with the fact that he tried earlier in the night and it didn’t work. He always “tries” and it just never works, I’m tired of it not working. Then I asked him to do a favor for me about this tv thing, it’s a simple, tiny thing, but it’s the fact the fucker keeps forgetting to do it, then he cancels on our night together (now in full disclosure, I heard him talking with his work about having to go in, I don’t mind that…I’m a reasonable person)……HOWEVER, I call the next day and leave a message that my husband’s flight was postponed for work and he wasn’t going to be home on a Friday night which I’m always told is a million times easier to get over here on, and it’s my fault that never works because my husband never travels on Friday night. This is the 3rd time I’ve been home alone on a Friday night and that fucker hasn’t come out here. He didn’t even call me back. So then I think hmmm well 1. it’s not normal to not get a call from him on a weekday since we speak every day, and 2. it’s really odd to not return my call to tell me yes or no about Friday night. So i’m thinking well I’ll probably get a call this weekend then that he’s gotten away and we can get a room. Pffffft, it’s officially Monday morning and there was no call.

The shitty thing is he knows I’m hooked on him and he plays that card. I know he’s hooked on me, but he’s a man and can control that better than I can. And this is when it sucks being the second woman in his life because every man gets nagged from the wife, he doesn’t want to be nagged from the 2nd relationship as well. So he just shuts down when I bring shit like this up. It usually takes me leaving for a little while to get it to sink in but I’m tired of playing that stupid game. I’m not 10. Or he’ll have some long drawn out well this happened, and this happened….

Thing is I’m the type I go out of my way to do things for people who I let in my world and I don’t ever think he’ll keep a steady pace with me on that. Even when he has the time it’s just not high up on his thought process like it is mine. And my husband says this is where my fault lies. I always expect people to give as much as I do when I finally let them in and I’m constantly dissapointed when they don’t. He’s shocked I don’t just give up and be a hermit like him, and I’m shocked that I have such a hard time finding people who think like I do. That’s why we’re married. He hates to admit it, but he’s a kind soul who would do anything for anyone. His heart is as kind as mine he just doesn’t have the bitchy, I hate everyone shell to crack through first like I do.

Bottom line it’s time to pull back how important he is to me for a little while. I can’t quite explain or understand how to do that, but when he figures it out I can just hear it now “what are you mad about now? You know my schedule.” blah blah blah. It’s not even that he can’t get out. It’s that he’s so confident that the conversations we have are all he needs to do that he’s gotten arrogant. Arrogant isn’t sexy. The man whore who remembers my anniversary and goes out of his way to make the day special since my husband was out of town is what he needs to do. So now I’ll have to figure out some way to control my need to be his friend every day for a bit.  Or I’ll just get over it and suck it up and wait a year till he does something nice again. Who knows. I need more time to process when people dissapoint me I guess. Or maybe I’m just tired of being dissapointed. Bad dates, no sex, no romance, no fun nights out, my husband is traveling a shit ton, women are driving me nuts, sick of the summer heat. I’m bitter. And my head is going on and on too much.

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