That’s what we have in common. About 3 years ago (this is what we guess), I met someone online and he lives about an hour and 15 minutes away from me, has a crazy odd work schedule, and so he doesn’t go out a lot when I go out. He’s a busy bee, and we’ve just not had good luck with schedules coordinating. I have found that appears to be the problem with a lot of people. Anyhow, we talk on Yahoo all the time, he’s one of the few people I’ve been intimate with that I allow on my personal Facebook, he knows as much as one can about my world, and I can sometimes pull some long conversations out of him when he decides to speak with more than three words. He’s a dear friend.
By now, I don’t remember our first date, he insists it was pool and a movie, but I don’t remember. Then we went shopping together, and I think there was something else I’m not recalling at the moment. And then we decided it was time to have sex. We totally fucked up planning that. So that the drive wasn’t bad for both of us (and I think he’s avoiding having me see his apartment) we decided to get it on at a hotel somewhere in the middle. With dinner first of course. We’ve determined all we really have in common is that we like sex, and our love for the NFL. So it was quiet in person with both of us knowing that after 2 years we were gonna have sex finally. It was just awkward. I’ll skip the details of the sex, but we over planned and had too much built up tension to go along with it.
I don’t know how long went by, maybe 8 months? But then we tried sex again. He was spontaneous and just hopped in the car one night when my husband was traveling and came over and we had sex, again we were like 2 strangers bumping heads in the night. We’re determined to get it right though because it just makes sense. He’s single and has commitment issues, or has he says “not being on the fence” issues, and he doesn’t care about my lifestyle or get jealous about any of it, so he’s a perfect fit. Mind you he’s a responsible adult who likes to be home in time for decent sleep before work, so I can’t get him out of the house much so our goal was to have sex 2 times this year. We have one out of the way. Then the man had a brilliant idea. How about we stop focusing so much on the sex, and just focus on building our friendship a little more and having normal dates where we don’t have sex planned. I tell you, he’s brilliant because it worked amazingly well.
Last night was our no sex date. He took me to one of my favorite restaurants in the area, and then to seize our only thing in common he took me to an Arena Football League game. I had an amazing time. Right away he surprised me with a kiss in the elevator, which is so not him to be spontaneous like that. He thinks through things quite a bit. There was sweet, cute, snuggling during the game, there were pictures, there was laughter, and there was even a thumbs up.
I even had pre-date jitters like it was a normal date. Not like I was nervous to be out with him, but more I was nervous because I was out in the sun all morning and I broke out in hives from the sun and my face was splotchy red and I was scrambling around to figure out how to fix it just a bit before he saw me.
Relationship wise he’s not what I’m looking for, he knows that and I know that. I’m pretty high maintenance and he’s pretty content with simple every day existence and girls that are hippies or under the age of 21 lol. But he’s a neat friend. He always has been. He’s not someone I’d call at 3 in the morning if I was drunk and needed a ride home, but he’s someone I know when I get cranky he knows me well enough to just go away and come back later and ignore my analness. He’s super neat. There’s times I wish we had more in common as I don’t think he is going to wind up ever being a monogamous person and I’d love to get as excited about wrestling as he does, but it’s not going to happen. So he is just another gift that this thing I call an open marriage has brought me.
It was so nice to be out on a date and not worried about if we were going to mesh, not worry about our sex later, not worry about the next day, not worry about if I had something stuck in my teeth. It was refreshing to be out with a friend. And his idea worked cause after our awesome making out in the car before I went home I’m a wee bit horned up for him, but we’ve still got five more months to fit in our designated have sex 2 times this year quota. He even remembered the kissing lesson. It was uber cute. I hate the tongue during kissing, and I just prefer the guy follow my lead till he figures that out and in classic Dick Diva style I lectured him before we kissed, and I could just tell he wanted to do the oh shut up eye roll lol but he listened and it was hot. I cut it short kind of hot because I was getting horny and wanted to keep our date at just a date, and he had to be up early.
I also learned something kinda cool. I’ve been doing a little soul searching since my no teeth date and trying to figure out if I’m shallow and just that horrible that I can’t let some physical issues keep me from wanting someone in my life. My friend doesn’t have everything I normally look for, the bald/shaved head, the tattoos (well he has one but it’s not exactly bad ass style lol), the bad ass demeanor, and the big bulky physical type. So even though he wasn’t down to the line physically everything I usually want, I still found I was getting turned on and it was such a relief. As I knew before that we connected, but I never paid attention to if we were able to connect when I thought about the physical aspects of him. So I’m thinking if it doesn’t gross me out or make me go ewww I can still go outside of my physical requirements to get turned on. I’m kinda giddy about that lol
So his plan worked, it was a brilliant idea. A brilliant evening. And a reminder what a brilliant friend he is.
PS I call him the man pervert. Long ago when I was talking of the man whore one day he said he wanted a name and it’s what we came up with. I’m not sure if it fits him anymore, but it’s what he picked.