Huh wha huh?! So here is some background. As you can read in my posts my brain runs a mile a minute. They’ve treated it as depression, then when the pills didn’t fix it, then it was bi-polar, then when the pills didn’t work, they tried anxiety. Pills didn’t work. My brain just always runs, runs, runs. Nobody seems to be able to figure it out. So I looked in to ADD. One doctor said yes, put me on Vyvanse and it didn’t work. So I just gave up. However, I started to see that sex therapist for help with the kids and the open marriage and she happens to be in to a lot of natural healing and we discussed the ADD and she sent me to a specialist. He hooked me up to this machine to do a quick scan of my brain in his office and was unclear of the results so he sent me in to get a QEEG. And now we are to present day when I went in to get the results of the test.
It’s never good when you walk in and the doctor says “I’ve never seen these kind of results before and I’m not really sure exactly what we should do”. On a plus side it’s awesome to know that there is something off like I’ve been saying for years, but it’s frustrating to know that they don’t have a name for it and a pill to fix it.
The front part of my brain goes much faster then the back part of my brain. And my brain runs much slower when my eyes are open compared to when they are closed. My brain shows slight signs of ADD, bi-polar, and addiction, and some positive stuff that I can’t remember. He recommends I do some brain training with this new technique that will hopefully permanently alter the electrical waves in my brain. And I’m sitting there thinking omg is he talking about electroshock therapy? lol he wasn’t, but that’s what it sounds like I’ll be doing when the time is right. So much of what the tests showed made SO much sense. The way I am so impatient, the irritability, the constant need for excitement. It was so neat to see it all on paper. It was neater to hear my personality figured out from some maps of my brain.
So we’re discussing it and he gets to the part of my brain that covers addiction and says it’s pretty active. This I know. I choose food as my addiction of choice. I bet now everyone thinks I’m like a 900 pound woman lol rest assured, I am not. I strongly believe everyone has an addiction, whether it be drugs, alcohol, cleaning, a cause, etc. And then he asked……”do you think you might be addicted to sex” huh wha huh?! For serious?! I just went 40 days without it! I like sex, and I’m a woman. And so that must, of course, make me addicted to it. It’s just not normal for a female to enjoy sex as much as I do or to be so open about my love for sex, or to be so open about how often I have sex. I was baffled. He’s an older man though and I didn’t feel like having a moral discussion on this since I am paying by the hour, so I just let it slide and refocused our conversation back to the brain.
I come in to this conversation all the time. Why can’t I love sex just as much as a man? So I checked my I’ve had sex book and I have had sex with 6 new people so far this year. The year is almost half over, that’s one new person a month on average. It just so happens they happened earlier in the year and I haven’t had any new people lately. Now if a man said that he might get questioned why the number is so low. When I say it I’m a sex addict. Whatthefuck? (and yes I write down when I have sex so I can remember years from now lol)
I don’t get it, I’m never going to get it, so I don’t really know what else to say about it, but it bothered me so much it was worthy of some of my mindless rambling. I saw Sex and the City 2 last night, there are open marriage, and awesome marriage references in the movie that made me smile in a very large way. I have a date tonight. And the antibiotics from me being so sick gave me a yeast infection and made me pass up sex with Daytime Lover ugh……my vagina must have pissed off karma some how.