Here are some excerpts from some of my Yahoo conversations today:
“I am uncomfortable because I want you to be happy and I’m just new at this so I have a mental block that I should be able to drive thru! I know it’s just excuses but I want this to work but a bit lost on how to make it work.” —-Doctor Boy
“if it means anything… i would love nothing more than another time with you, much like last time… because now i am more relaxed with you and not such a stiff board. i feel like i was making progress” – – 2 year man I’ve seen who just got a girlfriend but we are still friends.
What the fuck am I? I seriously think my funny name of the Goodwill Vagina is starting to ring true. Shit I’m not your trainer, I’m not your coach, I’m not your instructor. I’m not your practice. I want some fucking good sex. You know maybe this should be an add on to my business. Sex instructor and I start charging these schlepps for their “encounters” with me. I mean I love my friend to death, he’s awesome, but seriously “making progress”? should I have been grading you? Maybe I should start charging for my “lessons” but then I’d be a hooker. This is insane. And the shitty thing is I’m so nice I actually am going to try again with the doctor. I keep asking myself why. I think it’s because I have a small desire to corrupt him from his Indian heritage and make him dirty. However I did tell him we aren’t having sex for a while, we’re going to go out and I’m going to loosen him up a few times so he stops being such a stiff board around me. His explanation for why he was so weird the last time I was there is as follows: “I’m sorry! I didn’t know I came of like that! I was busy cleaning because I want my place to be clean for you…. Crap! Really sorry! I really liked what we had when I came out to *********, and just driving around and being me around you.” Dude sounds extremely high strung. He needs to party with me a bit. So I think I’m going to find a party this weekend.
But seriously why can’t I find another man whore who’s available more. Is a nice guy, gets to know me, AND is good in bed without needing to be shown what to do. I’ve been asking that for four years. I found the Illinois guy but he had his own issues. So he wasn’t the right fit either. Now I’m just annoyed and frustrated. It’s not that hard to please me in bed. I just need you to not have to wash your hands after you have them inside my vagina, and I need you to not need instructions every five seconds. I really am not that difficult to please in bed. Actually I’m not even all that fantastic. I don’t like getting on top! I mean how good can I be when I don’t even like to do the work 😉 I can give an awesome blow job though, that I won’t deny. I’m going to start telling people I work at McDonald’s. Who am I kidding. I get a secret thrill out of dropping the bomb when I say what I do for a living. It’s a little fun thing I like to do out at the bar lol. But then later when they are stupid in bed I kick myself for not acting like I’m a dumbass in bed. I wonder if I would have more luck if I laid there and didn’t make a sound or move. I should try that some time.