I’ve seen a lot of sex in my day. Had a lot of sex, watched a lot of porn, seen a lot of live and in person sex, coached some sex, laughed at sex, dreamt of sex, masturbated to sex, thought about sex, I’ve just been around a lot of sex. However, for the first time I have watched live sex and feel dirty. It’s material I don’t want in my spank bank! I’ve always thought men having a cool title to call masturbation thoughts was awesome, so I’ve stolen it to use for my masturbation thoughts even though I’m not a man. Deal.
It’s a little different watching two people fuck that you have no sexual connection with at all. Then when the image of it pops up thinking well shit I can’t masturbate to that! I haven’t been able to decide if it’s because I’m not sexually involved with either party, or if it was the actual sex that I watched. I’m leaning towards the lack of sexual involvement cause it was pretty hot to watch.
How did I wind up watching live sex? It was a long night of dildo sales, drinking, gay club dancing, and adventurous moms gone wild. I did a toy party for a group of my mom friends and we went to a gay club to dance the night away and I found that there were a lot of girls kissing, a lot of boys kissing girls who weren’t their girlfriends, and a lot of sexual innuendo. I was proud. It was definitely a proud moment for me. I’m not sure if there has ever been talk of a mom’s night out at a gay club before I came along but I’m super proud that I know people who find that an evening of fun. However, I went home with no action. I was actually pretty proud because I thought for sure that I would cave to the couple that night, but there was a bit of a tiff there and I was totally turned off to the idea so that made it super easy for me to not cave. So perhaps I shouldn’t be proud cause really it wasn’t me that made it not happen lol
I was disappointed by a friend at the beginning of the night. Disappointed for the third time. Came home and told my husband about it and he was his normal self. Put down what he was working with and looked me in the eye and goes “I don’t know when you’re ever going to learn that people suck and no matter how nice you are to them they will never be that nice back to you. I’ve said it a million times, and every time you make a new friend, and I’ll say it again, just give up.” hehehe he’s such a downer. He really does think people suck, but at the end of the day he’d do the same as me and be someone’s friend if the opportunity was there. He’s a softie like me under all that attitude. It’s why I love him. He talks a big game, and I know part of him believes it once someone hurts him, but before they hurt him he’ll give you all he’s got. His old friends are an example of what happens when he’s hurt too many times. He walks away from people a whole lot easier than I do, as can be seen by the man whore involvement. I just always feel there is a goodness in everyone and eventually they will figure it out. Who knows. I’m on guard again though. I love when the husband offers the perspective just as a little touch base with home. And this is why I fear if anything ever happens to him before me because he truly is the one person I can count on in my life and if I lose that I will be a lost little puppy.
Is it weird that I always feel so lost and bleckish when I don’t have someone to pursue? What’s up with that?! I still am in my need some romance rut and I feel like it’s because I am not actively hunting someone down for some ass. I’ve lost the desire for the quick ass all of a sudden and I don’t know what’s up with that! It’s disturbing me a bit. I am kind of thinking part of it is my disappointment in the human race that I just don’t want to mess with any of the shit that comes with the random ass. Maybe? Who knows! It’s not like I’m short on ass, it’s just that they never are available when I want them to be. And then that pisses me off too. Why can’t you be my on call ass? huh huh huh? I’ve spent the time getting to know you beyond ass so hop on the ass train and be available already I mean between my daytime lover, my man whore, my shy guy, my jackass guy, my Lake Geneva guy, my bouncer, my never has toilet paper single guy. WTF?! And yet when I want some ass they’re always too complicated to get it from, but when they want some things sure are easier. Pain. In. My. Ass.
Yet my husband can sit at home every single night and have no interaction in person with people besides work and be completely happy. I go run around looking for more people who only bring in messy drama or stress. How does that work? Maybe I’m addicted to it. Maybe it’s my crack! ha!