You really have to have a thick skin to do this open marriage business. The man whore is rejecting me, the Bayshore boy rejected me, and now I think Single Dad is rejecting me! I got the review text yesterday where I could tell he was fishing for compliments on the night but I don’t really work that way. I do the same thing every time. I will wait and if I had a good time I will send a text that says “I don’t like to play games to make you wonder if your’e supposed to wait 24 hours or 36 hours to to contact me so I’m texting to let you know I had a good time and I’d like to see you again and if you don’t feel the same then thanks for the fun night!” and that’s it. That’s all I send. If I hear back then great, if not then REJECTION! Ugh! So he sends me I hope you had a good time as I did too (this was before I sent my text) and now I’ve heard nothing. NOTHING. Ugh I hate this part. I really do. This is like rejection 3 in the last week! WTF?!
Then I sit here and wonder what the hell do I enjoy out of this lol I have no fear of rejection from my husband so why I go out and seek it is a mystery. I must just love the torture. Or perhaps I’m not cut out for this dating thing. I’m super impatient. I ran into someone about 3 weeks ago from my open marriage support group and I thought we had a moment and so I came on to him and he asked for my number and then I never heard anything so I assumed rejection. Then low and behold 2 days ago I get a fabulous email from him. So had I just been patient and not done the big rejection processing I do all would have been fine.
I think it’s just time to stop this random dating. I’m not sure my ego can handle much more. It’s stressful and I stress over it for about 2 days but it’s always in the back of my head. I wish they’d just tell me what it is that isn’t working. Did the sex suck? Was I dull? Did they just want a one night thing? Shit tell me that I’d be ok with one night. Ugh it’s just stressful and why I want to keep going through it I don’t know. These are the moments I always think back to boyfriend #2 from Illinois. Illinois boyfriend never rejected me. I had it made with him but I got bored with it and walked away. This must be my karma for that. Karma is a bitch.
So here begins my 2 days of processing over getting rejected. And 2 days of asking myself what the hell do I do this for lol So many single people are looking for what I have with my husband and here I am voluntarily being single every time I leave the house. Silly, silly me. Ask me in 2 days though and I’ll be over this and then remember why I love this part of my life. 2 days. Always 2 days.