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I had a date with The Boy last night. I spent most of the day assuming that he wasn’t going to show up, and nervous that he wasn’t going to tell me. I think the Man Whore has ruined me and made me doubt all future dates. I didn’t want to look like an insane woman and keep asking him if he was still coming, so I just braved the unknown and went. We were going to see a movie that neither one of us had heard of, with the full intention of not paying any attention to it. I chose my clothes with that in mind. Since I have a lot of clothes that don’t fit anymore with all of my body fine tuning, I pulled on a pair of shorts that would leave him plenty of room to maneuver.
He was even on time. Bless his heart. When I saw him walking up, I instantly got the tingles. I was so excited to see him. I was hoping for a hello kiss, or a huge, or something, but he was very rigid. I’m learning that the rigid is part of his personality. I’ve never really dealt with rigid and stiff before since most people that are ok with the open marriage are pretty relaxed and care free. I’m finding this to be somewhat of a challenge. I bought for the movies since he bought dinner last time, and off we went. I had chosen the seats in the back as far as I could and we both sat holding our breath that nobody was going to sit in front of us. We got lucky. The seats were pretty tall too so it was impossible for anyone to see what we were doing back there unless they were specifically raising out of their seat to look. He was so quiet while we were waiting for the movie and didn’t go to hold my hand or anything so I just took matters in to my own hand and asked if he was nervous and he said not at all, but it sure was difficult to believe. So I just cozied up to his shoulder, and went for the kiss hello and as soon as I saw the look in his eye as he went for the kiss I knew he was happy to be there.
And then the touch began. He has the smoothest, most delicate touch I have ever felt. I can almost feel the blood run faster through my body when he touches me because it’s so amazing. He rubbed my arm while occasionally kissing me on the top of my head. I loved it. He held my hand so tightly and rubbed his thumb over my fingers. I’m so not used to someone doing this for so long.
When it finally got dark in the theater I situated myself so that I was laying across the seat on his lap and we made out for a bit, then he reached in for my breasts and started to tease his fingers over my nipples. I can’t feel anything when he does that due to the breast reduction, but just the fact that I know he’s being so gentle with them is enough to excite me. Then he moved to my collar bone and rubbed me there for a little while and then I went in for more making out. I could feel him getting hard under my head, so I hopped up and undid his pants with one hand….belt and all. I was rather impressed with myself that was all completed with one hand. Slipped my hand in and went straight for his balls. He had told me at one point that it’s his hot spot, so I made sure to pay attention to that first. I could also feel that he had a lot of pre cum and I’m greatly turned on by that and like to get it in my mouth so I asked him to lift up a bit so I could get his pants down further and maneuver his cock out. Luckily he had on boxers so I just slipped it through the hole. Things were as I thought from earlier rubs in the area; he’s nicely hung. I dove in and instantly felt his body react to my mouth. That just makes me enjoy it more. I love to feel how a man reacts when he’s in my mouth. It’s such a huge turn on. I could hear his breathing quicken as well and his hand grip the arm rest. I tried to keep things very silent so it was hard to get the proper suction going that I like to do, but I still managed.
He reacted the most when I had my tongue at the tip of the head so I stuck around there for a bit. One of the biggest mistakes women make when giving a blow job is that they don’t pay attention to the body language during a blow job and focus on the areas that make their breath quicken, their body tense up, the grip of their hand tighten. This way you don’t waste a bunch of necessary time in places he doesn’t enjoy as much. It just adds time to the process, and most people like to get it done quick and get out. I’m not one of those people, so I don’t mind, but I do still like to pay attention to the body language so I know what a man likes. When I could tell that he was getting to a point that he was working hard to control cumming I went for gold and got every inch of it in my mouth. That’s when I heard the “oh fuck” and then; I felt a tap on my leg. My first thought was oh gosh someone caught us so I lifted up and he put his head by my ear and said “You’re going to make me cum” what a guy to give me a warning. I think from him though it was more out of politeness that I was about to cross over in to a spot where he wanted to make sure I was comfortable first. I told him it was ok, dove back down and it didn’t take but a minute and I could feel him starting to pulsate. I love that moment. It’s like the reward at the end of the marathon. He had a lot and oh boy was he a little bitter. I always let my mouth linger so I can lightly suck the rest of it out as they get more sensitive after they cum, but it’s still a good feeling to have the mouth stay there to not abruptly go from warm mouth, to wet cold air.
Popped up and looked at him and he was euphoric. It was cute. He got me some water before the movie and I had specifically requested it for this moment so I could rinse a bit. I wasn’t sure if he was a kisser after a swallower, so I wanted to be prepared. And then he just sat there holding my hand. No more rubbing, no more making out. WTF?! I thought oh no he wasn’t comfortable with me doing that, perhaps I did it too soon. It was the exact opposite I found out later, he was trying to recover. I had to pay attention to the movie for a little bit then and it wasn’t good so then I was annoyed I wasn’t getting any pay back for the blow job. In fact I was a little grouchy as we walked out. I didn’t know what to do with him next, so I started to walk to my van assuming that was the end, I’d crossed a line for him, and it was time to go, but he hopped in. We chatted until all the awkward chatter died and I asked him if he wanted me to take him to his vehicle or if he wanted to go to a more secluded spot and make out in the back seat. He lit up immediately and said back seat so off I went. I had a friend map out some spots before the date so I was ready. I then thought hmmm maybe this just makes me look slutty that I already knew where this was heh
As soon as I got back there he put his arms around me and hugged me so tight it was as if he thought I was about to leave or something. It felt so good. Then I hopped on his lap and let the make out session begin. It didn’t take him long to start to repay the favor of the blow job with his fingers and he found my g-spot right away. I didn’t even need to push it down for him. I was impressed, and I was in bliss. Oh god it felt so good. I’m not sure if it was because he was good at it, or because it felt nice to finally have some part of him inside of me. He went to town, and I came three times. One in which I know I got his hand quite wet so he didn’t have any doubt that I had an orgasm. I figured he would be done after that. Oh no, he went on for quite a long time….long enough for me to enjoy his finger two more times. The moaning he did while he was doing it was extremely hot as well. His hand had to be cramping by then so I tried to indicate that was good enough for now and sure enough he asked if he could move his hand because he was cramping. And then he grabbed me for another, long, enjoyable hug and we made out more so I could grind on him. I could tell he wanted so much more, but he restrained.
I’ve been having some trouble with me knee, so I couldn’t stay on it for much longer and we’d been back there for an hour already so I told him so and I knew he had work early in the morning and he had expressed that he had to get home by a certain time a few days earlier. I was also afraid that I was going to start stripping our clothes on and hop on his dick faster then he could notice what was happening, so I pulled back and sat down next to him. He immediately pulled me in so my head was resting on his shoulder and he broke out the rubbing, awesome hand touches again. And then he pushed me back and got on top of me and made out with me more. That was just evil because that was hot. I had to kind of pull away and tell him that we needed to find a bed soon and he said he’d work on it. We discussed that for a bit and then he hopped on me again and this time I just wrapped my legs around his waist and thrust him in to me. I’ve got some pretty buff legs these days with my weight training. I held him in place for a little bit….and then I couldn’t take anymore and let him go.
We had a brief talk about his little moment of panic earlier in the week and I specifically told him I need him to be sure this is what he wants and he said now that we’re both on the same page he’s just fine with everything. Good, then when are we having sex?
I made the mistake of having sex. Big mistake. Huge. Now I can’t get enough of it. I’m horny as a mother fucker and I can’t stop thinking about it. So, last night I thought hmmm let’s experiment here and see if I can kick this before my date tonight so I don’t try to have sex sooner then I should since the date is with The Boy.
I I pull out this toy from my mass selection of toys that I’ve retired from work, or that I used once and haven’t touched it since. This was one that I used once and then never again. I used to sell a ton of them because it has this twist factor to it that you can use as a handle basically. Which can I just say is fabulous for us shorter people who have a little trouble reaching down there comfortably. I’m a simple masturbator most of the time. I just get things done on the clit and then I’m good to go. There’s a few times here and there though when I like to spend some time and pay attention to what I’m doing. This was one of them.
Got everything all situated and thought oh yes, this will be perfect. After I masturbate I’m never going to want to have sex again lol. Ever. So I dug through the old stash and found this toy and figured what the fuck. I was glad I found it too as I’ve had a plug wandering around my office that I haven’t been able to figure out what it’s used for. Voila it’s the charger for this toy. Which is good because my battery stash next to my bed is depleted. It vibrates on both ends. You can set it to the same speed, or different, or whatever. So I tinkered with the bulb end of it and since it was really long I didn’t have to work really hard.
However, hellllooooooooo multiple speed on the clit. I haven’t done that is so long I have forgotten how awesome that was. I just held it there lightly, watched some porn on the ol smart phone and it was nice because the pulse I selected took me right to the edge of having an orgasm and then it would change and I didn’t have to practice the control on my own as sometimes I will just give in and orgasm right away, but this kind of made it so it did it on my own. Wound up lasting for about 20 minutes. Glorious. Just glorious I tell you. I used the g-spot finder last time. The poor bulb….left all unused. It shall never happen again. My goal is to remember to bring that charger down to my room heh plug that bad boy in right under the bed and I’ll never be searching for batteries.
It didn’t fix my problem. Still ready to fuck the next wiener I see. Oh well. I reunited with my old friend Twist
……not all was lost.
Ooops I totally forgot after he came from the blow job I totally got oral…..and that fucker got me off in no time….which I learned a little from. I always have held back when it gets to a spot that is a little uncomfortable, but last night I let him just stay on it as I knew he was nervous already and I didn’t want to give him stage fright so I just let it go…….and it was fabulous…….then he fucked me…….how dare I forget to give him credit for the fabulous oral he gave me. His tongue slicked over that clit like he did it every day. There was no indication that this man hadn’t had sex since December. It was adorable when he finally collapsed after we were done and the look on his face was euphoric. Yum.
Dick Diva strikes again. I totally enjoy this alter ego type thing heh. About a month or so ago I was on a date and we ate lunch at this restaurant where my waiter was hot as hell. I’m not normally so forth coming in person, but he was so hot I figured the date could at least be salvagable to make an attempt on the waiter. I left my phone number with the bill.
He never called, so I wrote it off that he wasn’t interested in me, or the fact that I put my marriage was open. Win some, lose some. All of a sudden I got a call the other night after I came home from my romantic night and it was him, but it took me a moment to put it together so I sounded tired and he apologized for calling so late and said he would try again some other time. He didn’t call so I just wrote it off and then I got a text a bit later and it was him asking if I could meet up that night. I wasn’t really in the mood so I just didn’t respond and figured if it was meant to be he’d try again. He texted me yesterday morning and said he was free for the night after work. I had a date already and figured I could just swing over after the date. He said sure he’d be in touch when he got off work. I totally didn’t expect him to actually do it, but he did.
Let me back track a bit. I had a date for dinner. New guy. We ate. I think he’s gay. I ate faster. Date done. Won’t be calling.
And then back to Mr. Waiter. He was heading home from work and I said I’d leave at 10. I pull up and he’s outside smoking and I think oh my god I hate it when they taste like smoke. He hadn’t been home long from work so I waited on the couch while he showered, which was awkward because he just had music playing and I was really tired so I just moved to the bed hoping that it would give him a hint I wasn’t fucking around and we could just get right to it.
He got on the bed with me and he was nervous as shit. Ugh. So I pulled out my best date pose and struck up conversation until I kept seeing him check out my cleavage. Finally “Are you going to come over here or do I need to get this going” I told him. And we were off. He had big lips and they were great to kiss and the noises he was making were a large indication that he hasn’t had sex in a while. You can just tell in the urgency of their body language. He spent a ton of time on my boobs. Which I guess he had noticed when I was in the restaurant. The dude remembered everything about me. Down to what I was wearing. I was impressed he paid attention long enough to remember the girl that gave him her phone number. Then he attacked my neck. Oh those lips on my neck was heaven. His tongue traced up and down the side of my neck to the bottom of my ear where he teased it a bit and the tingles came. Fuck this shit, let’s go.
There are certain times when I am all about the foreplay. When I am showing up at your house to fuck you, I don’t need foreplay. I just want you to drop your pants, get inside me, and get me off. I propped myself up to get his pants off and HELLO!!! He was huge! He wasn’t hard enough for sex yet so I said hello with my mouth magic and in less then a minute he had an orgasm. Oh shit. Oh he was so embarrassed. Apologized, said it’s been a long time since he had sex. Just give him a minute and he could go round two. Sure no problem as long as he really can.
When I saw how big he was I was actually a little nervous but then I remembered I had sex last night so I shouldn’t be AS tight as usual. The other guy was pretty big too so that had to have loosened me up a bit. Wrong. Oh me oh my I could feel the perineum starting to get agitated so I adjusted my position. Didn’t help. I tried to think if I had any lube as that always makes it a bit easier. Strike 2. It was time to just take it like a woman. I relaxed the muscles as much as I could and opened up and boom he was in. Woooot! I did have to tell him to stop pulling all the way out and going in. That wasn’t helping the ol perineum so he stayed in and then joy came upon me. He felt amazing. And since he came already he went on for quite a while so I had a couple orgasms and when I tightened up even more around him as I came, the noises that came out of him were hot as fuck. I had such a long orgasm that I had to remind myself to breath as I was holding my breath in. Oh sweet god. And he kept going….and I had another orgasm….and he kept going…..and I was starting to get smaller and smaller orgasms…..and he kept going…..and I was wishing for lube…..and he kept going……and then finally…..finally….he collapsed on me. I couldn’t tell if he came or not as he is very quiet. He hopped up to go throw the condom away so who knows. I didn’t care. I was in ecstacy. And I noticed he had a nice ass as he walked away.
If The Boy is big I’m going to have to go back to the perineum massages so I can open up a bit as I’m pretty sore today and this is just not going to work. It’s been so long since I had regular sex my pussy is screaming!
He came back to bed and was so nervous. Poor guy. We talked for a little while. Then he informed me he was 40! Holy fuck this guy didn’t look over 30. Good for him lol and then the questions that were hinting to the fact he wanted to know if I was going to come back ever again. I quickly hopped out of bed and said ok time to go! I was shocked when he hopped up and said he wanted to walk me to my car. Well ok, one night stands don’t normally do that. I won’t be such an asshole about telling him not to worry about calling. Then he walked me to my van, opened the door, gave me a kiss, and asked me to let him know when I got home so he knew I made it…..uhhhhhhh my asshole don’t call plan dropped to the floor in a second……and then he said he would be in touch because we should hang out again…..uhhhhhh well I guess won’t delete him from my phone, but I won’t be calling. He will have to get in touch.
The diva strikes again.
Got an email from this guy yesterday. His profile was pretty funny, his email was pretty funny and he was 6’5. I love tall men. He started off all nice like he wasn’t just looking for sex, and then I asked if he wanted to grab a drink. He said sure, and then commented on how I just get right to the point. I could tell by his profile that not only was he funny but he isn’t looking for anything more than some ass on call. I was horny as fuck so I didn’t care what the hell he was looking for. He caught on right away.
Texted throughout the rest of the day and at first I was thinking he was going to be a flake because he wouldn’t zero in on me coming over which usually means lives with mom, or isn’t single. And then he asked if I was just going to come over and have sex and I said yep. I don’t think he believed me. He finally gave up the address and I said I’d let him know when I could be there.
He kept sending “So um are you going to walk in and we just get right to it or what”. He was 28. I don’t think smooth was in his vocabulary. I didn’t give a fuck if he couldn’t spell, I needed a booty call. Got to his place, walked upstairs to his apartment he said nice to meet me, and I threw the condom down and hopped on top of him. I hear an “oooh well ok” and there we went. That fucker was so tall he got on his feet on the bed like he was sitting in a chair and got me from behind. He was nicely sized too and then I hear “holy fuck you are tight” and I just smiled. That’s damn right fucker! I work hard to keep that shit tight lol nice of someone to give me some props lol he lasted a good amount of time and pounded me pretty hard. It was hot as fuck in his apartment, and even hotter outside so there was no way I was staying for round 2 but I didn’t want to be completely rude so I was hoping he would say he had a long recovery time. So I asked “uh are you a round two kind of guy or what’s the deal” and he said “Nope I’m a round one kind of guy and I’m good to go”…………..”Okeydokey, thanks for the fun” as I got dressed and scooted out. On my way down the steps I deleted his number and drove home with a smile on my face. It felt good to be a Dick Diva. So good. I want some more.
Sometimes………I’m not perfect. I like to think so. I guess I’m not heh. I appear to not communicate what I’m looking for very well. I’m not really sure how to fix that, so I guess I’ll need to work on that. I’ve always thought I’ve been blatantly up front but to hear the boy’s translation of what I made it sound like is way off what I want to portray. Going to take another peek at my profiles and some of my emails to see if I’m up to no good over here.
So I sent the boy a really long text this morning. I guess it was so long it crashed his phone. I’m wordy; what can I say. Good thing he doesn’t know about this blog, or he’d just be super overwhelmed. I just copy and pasted it for here because I’m too lazy and to hot to sit with this laptop.
So I was thinking about this and am going to steal your “let’s try this again” route. This will be long so get ready. There’s very obviously a connection between the two of us and I think it scares you because I’m married. I could be wrong but that is the one thing I’ve been able to pick up. As for ultimately looking for in regards to you; I think you assume you must stop looking. That would be insane. I never ask that. I consider myself filler. While you’re looking I’m just a friend to hang out with as what I like to call “filler” I fill the wholes of what you crave while looking..companionship and of course physical needs. And then I either disappear when you find that, or we become good friends. Its a definite side effect of my chosen path but I go in knowing this. As far as frequency I think you’ve misunderstood. I know my life sounds dull but my kids have baseball, karate, dance, etc and I am too old to stay out late as we have on weekdays unless it’s rare. I’m not seeking a see you every minute type friend. I’m seeking someone to text with when we are stuck at home because our jobs (mine being of course my family) prevent us from being out socializing and its cool to have a friend to chat with. If you’re running because you truly do just think this is all just too weird I will understand, but we just had too much of a connection to not try to explain a bit better. It’s ok to like me because I’m not disappearing any time soon. It’s ok for me to like you because I can. So with that freedom to like you I can also make sure you feel important in my world and that’s what I do. So whether we get together on a random Friday night for dinner or you magically become comfortable having me over on a rare night that your roommates disappear, or you come over here on the rare occasion I have the house to myself. I’m not seeking someone to spend my every free moment with. That’s impossible to explain to my kids. I’m not asking you to stop looking. And I’m not asking you to pretend we can’t have some fun together. If I don’t hear from you by tonight; I’ll take a hint.
And then his response……
It was going to be a long one, but I boiled it down to this. If a friendship with a physical aspect is enough for you, then I would agree it would be a shame to just set this aside, because I think there was a connection too. At the same time, I think you want and deserve more, so keep looking just like you tell me to. Even if/when we find what we are looking for, a friendship would endure beyond that where a relationship would probably end. So we can be “filler” for each other, and friends besides and after. Despite my uncertainties, I do enjoy talking and I do enjoy our time together, so I would count myself lucky to have you as a friend in any aspect.
That just has me rethinking every possible thing I’ve ever told someone. Am I explaining what I want the wrong way? What he just explained is what I’m after. I don’t understand how people aren’t gathering that. I’m going to have to take some looking in to why the fuck that is happening. It’s odd because I didn’t even say anything about relationships to Man Whore or the other relationship guy I had….they just developed in to that. I was just horny. This really bugs me because if I’ve been to blame for all the idiots not understanding all of this time, then shit, I feel a bit bad. I’ll probe a bit more next time we hang out. I think the poor boy is overwhelmed with having to share. He’s a quiet man who doesn’t have much to share. This is probably sensory overload.
I suppose it’s time to give him a name. I’m tired of this Mr. shit. I think I’m just going to go with The Boy. I like that. At any rate The Boy better fuck me soon as I am hard up for some sex.
Oh and I met someone over lunch today. That was a fucking joke. He had emailed me yesterday and it was a last minute set up since I was going to be in his area. His texts were boring, so I knew better, but I had time to kill in between appointments anyway. He was late and as I was leaving he pulls up on this insanely loud Harley with his country music blaring. He’s kinda cute. We get our food, go to sit down and he eats the whole time with his sunglasses on his forehead like he has 4 eyes and the 2 on top are really afraid of light. Then he rambles on about how he doesn’t have any time because of his work, and what is my time schedule like because he’d like to know if I’m available for sex at the same time he is, and then he just woo’d me with his ramblings about how he can’t advance in his work because the city gives all the good jobs to black women to keep equality the same. It’s a good thing I can type on my phone without looking, so I just entertained myself by relaying it all on Twitter. My salad was really good too, so I had that going for me. I took my exit and he said goodbye and then texted me to tell me I’m more beautiful in person. It was nice of him to say. Now he wants to take me out on his Harley on Saturday. I guess my obvious disdain for him wasn’t as obvious as I thought. Perhaps I just have some severe communication problems I’ve never been made aware of and the universe decided today it would teach me. Well I’m listening!
So the new boy is weird. We spend two great nights together in which he’s telling me he’d like to be around, and how right everything feels and I agree. I do however hold back and make sure I understand what he’s looking for before I fully dive in. Just cause I would have had sex with him doesn’t mean I’d have stuck around just because we have sex. I might have changed my Dick Diva ways, but I mean come on; a girl needs some sex.
I’m not patient enough to just get mixed signals. It isn’t cool. I don’t like to play guessing games, and I don’t like to try to have to figure out what a guy is thinking. So last night we are texting like normal and he’s got his questions rolling in but it’s taking like 15 minutes in between each answer and I’m just getting sleepy so I wanted to wrap up and just finally spit it out that I had no idea what he was looking for here and I can’t stand wasting my time on someone who’s going to disappear. And this is how that went:
Him: “I don’t really know how to answer accept to say I’m sorry I’m that way it’s not something I’m aware of, so its hard to not be that way. There is some uncertainty, on my part, and that’s probably contributing to it (your confusion). I have fun when we’re together but I’m naturally quiet so the fact that it’s a problem at least means I’m comfortable around you”
Me: “I’m glad you’re comfortable around me. I am not sure what to do about that uncertainty. That’s a frustrating answer but none the less it is what it is”
Him: “There isn’t really anything to do about the uncertainty, its not like you have to prove something to me or be a certain way. Its whether or not I am comfortable in this kind of relationship, so thats something I have to decide.”
Me: “I had assumed you contacting a married woman whose indeed married would have led you to consider the aspects of a relationship with someone in an open marriage”
Him: “I did consider it, but thinking and doing are two different things”
Me: “Understood but it’s not the best situation to grow to enjoy someone who’s thinking and doing winds up with doing an exit after a woman spends some time getting to know you under false pretenses”
Him: “Part of my uncertainty is that I don’t think I can be as accessible to you as you want, and also that being together even on a limited basis would keep both of us from finding what we are looking for ultimately. I’m sorry that this is the way it is, but I have to be honest with you and unfortunately this is what’s in my head”
Me: “It sounds to me you’re pretty convinced things can’t work so I’m not understanding what the point of us continuing is and I’m a bit surprised you thought thisthe whole time while letting me learn to enjoy your company. I’d have preferred to know that from the start so I could have decided if I was ok with that”
Him: “I obviously didn’t think that at the start otherwise I wouldn’t have contacted you to begin with. When it was in front of me I felt differently than before and it’s definitely not how I expected to feel. Maybe there isn’t a point to continuing. It’s obviously not good or fair for you to have to deal with this”
I just left it alone at that. I’m going to respond this morning with a better explanation of what I’m looking for as I do think he’s deeply confused because he has feelings for me and he’s afraid he’s going to get hurt, and I don’t think he understands my open marriage is permanant and so is his ability to look for someone else. I don’t think he gets that one of the bad side effects of an open marriage is saying goodbye to people. I’m going to let him know I can do that and that I don’t need him around all the time. Since I can’t handle staying up past 10:00 these days I just don’t have time for it. He’s the one who is always texting, so I’m not quite sure.
I’ll give the texts a whirl. Leave it at that and see where things may land. I’m alright either way. It’s nice to know up front so I don’t waste any more time getting to know him.
On a side note I went to run this morning and some fucking crazy bug kept biting me and it fucking hurt and now it itches like a son of a bitch. I will stick to the treadmill from now on.
Oh and all that build up from the weekend and our making out led to some FANTASTIC masturbation yesterday. Oh my gosh it was great. I had an orgasm that seemed never ending. However, now I want some sex. I’m considering a random fuck just to get laid. Meeting someone for lunch today, maybe he will be at least not awful enough that I can have some sex with him soon.